Alone

In the whole realm of human experience, perhaps the worst form of emotional pain is the pain of loneliness. Whether it be the loneliness of desertion, the loneliness of persecution, or even the loneliness of being misunderstood.

There are certain feelings, both joyous and sorrowful, that cannot be communicated, no matter how much sympathy and understanding may be present from a friend. People can identify to a situation, but the sensitivity of others has its limits. Perhaps you and I share the same tragedy from our childhoods. But, because our hearts and minds are wonderfully unique, even we could not fully understand one another’s pain exactly. This doesn’t minimize the value of friendships and relationships. But, each person must acknowledge that they tread a solitary path, and that path is often to submit to being misunderstood.

Blaise Pascal said, “the heart has reasons that reason does not know.”

King Solomon wrote, “the heart knows its own bitterness and no stranger shares its joy.” (Proverbs 14:10)

The day I gave myself permission to stop trying to get other people to understand every corner of my feelings was the day I felt the strangest and sweetest fullness of life. If you’ve ever had times of feeling depressed, you might easily get what I mean. This solution came from perhaps an unlikely place – God himself. The philosopher Saint Augustine described God as “interior intimo meo.” Get ready for what that means. I know you’ll just love it:

“Closer to me than I am to myself.”

What joy. What amazing relief to the complexity of sadness and loneliness. God could not be closer. He is closer to me than I am to myself.

The most reoccurring theme of my life is feeling alone. Having tons of friends, or even a husband, does not change it. Only Jesus. Jesus was in perfect unity with the Father and the Spirit. Until he wasn’t. He endured the worst pain of aloneness anyone has ever felt by dying in my place, descending to hell, and being apart from the Father and Spirit. I will now never have to be alone again.

If you’d like to check out some other posts like this, I suggest Why I Don’t Believe in Prayer, Jesus & Physical Fitness, and A Word About Our Wedding.

For many of my readers, this may be the first spiritually-related post you’ve read by me. Much of my content (and life) is about cooking and decorating, but it is not what defines me. I hope you enjoy thinking about an occasional question on God as you come across it on this blog. Thanks for reading. Love, Rach

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8 thoughts on “Alone

  1. When I was 19 years old I had been dumped by my boyfriend and my friends and felt totally alone. Thoughts of suicide floated in and out of my head (though I did NOT act on them- it was more like I wanted to sleep for a year and then wake up). I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. A storm was coming in- one of those wonderful summer storms with thunder and lighting- the air was almost electric- but it hadn’t hit yet. I sat on a park bench to catch my breath and thought to myself, ‘I am all alone’. And then another voice entered my head and said, ‘When you have nothing else, that is where Gd lives.’. Changed my life. This is a true story.

    Thanks doll,
    The Glamorous Housewife

    ps: Your mustard chicken really is amazing.

  2. Amazing how God works in our lives..I am kind of new to Pinterest and have only followed family but was drawn to you and the very next day I receive your email, and did not recognize your name but opened it anyway! I love what you shared and cannot wait to share with my daughters. I love “He is closer to me than I am to myself”. Thank you for sharing!

    Cathy

  3. I just met you today and I already know that I really do like you, my friend in Christ. I got so much from this post.

    I can not wait to try some of your recipes.

    God bless you,
    Pam

  4. Wonderful post. I have recently just come out of a state of feeling very alone. Feeling along is the worst. I had suicidal thoughts and had lost all hope and joy. I had no disire to be around my family, I just wanted to not exist anymore. With lots of prayer from friends and my husband, I’m finally starting to feel God’s love and grace again and not feeling so alone anymore.

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